We here at Citizenrobot wish you a very rockin’ and prosperous New Year. Yes, we know those are acoustic guitars. Shut the hell up for once.

(Photo courtesy of madmojo @ flickr)

(Hamburger Haven speciality)

Man, we been slackin’. It was like the power of Beck sapped all our writing mojo. Here, study this photo while we figure out what’s blogworthy.

My box of cereal. I admit it.

Like many other countless total nerds out there on the intarwebs, I look forward to seeing what Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Day is. I love it because sometimes it is a direct reference to something going on in the news, even though they never actually discuss the related news item (example: the other day the word was extradite – a word constantly uttered that day due to the updates in the Jon Benet Ramsey case).

Today’s word though, makes direct reference to Citizenrobot’s favorite pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow:

The Word of the Day for 09-01-2006 is:
savvy \SAV-ee\ verb

: understand

Did you know?
You may be familiar with the noun “savvy,” meaning “practical know-how” (as in “he has political savvy”), and the adjective use (as in “a savvy investor”). And if you’ve seen the blockbuster movie Pirates of the Caribbean, you also know that the verb is often used as an informal, one-word question meaning “Do you understand?” (as in “I’m Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?”). But Jack Sparrow (i.e., Johnny Depp) didn’t invent the term. Both the noun and the verb came into use around 1785. “Savvy” is based on the Portuguese term “sabe,” meaning “he knows,” which itself is from Latin “sapere,” meaning “to be wise.” Creole speakers interpreted the Portuguese term as “sabi” and began using it as one would “know.” Eventually, the Creole’s “sabi” evolved into today’s word.

It simply amazes me how much free product placement something can generate, even unintentionally. Or…is Disney in league with Merriam-Webster somehow in a fiendish plot to control the American lexicon!?

(Image from Sherru’s Flickr Photostream)

Read this great story on the LAT website today. Supportive mum drives son and four hoodlums around as they desecrate & graffiti tag large portions of Echo Park and Silverlake. Well gosh darnit, see! Family values aren’t eroding in this country! They’re just…changing and adapting to suit the cultural times we are in. People ARE spending time with their children!

Police found the other alleged taggers waiting with Villicano in her SUV.

Why…why do people with SUVs need to go around ruining private property? **hippie voice** Shouldn’t you be out working for your car, man?

“Sometimes we search for answers as to why young people become engaged in irresponsible acts,” [LAPD Assistant Chief Earl Paysinger] said. “We look to social and economic conditions as causal factors. But often it’s parents abdicating their responsibility to be parents.”

Well…duh.

At least they caught these folks. I’m sure after some fines, a few hours of community service, and mom back at the wheel, Echo Park and Silverlake will be back to their graffitied walls in no time.

I’m certain of it.

When Mr. Bush referred to the terror attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, in reference to a question about Iraq today, a reporter pressed him, asking, “What did Iraq have to do with that?” Mr. Bush responded somewhat testily, “Nothing,” and added, “Nobody has ever suggested in this administration that Saddam Hussein ordered the attack.”

In the run-up to the invasion in March 2003, Vice President Dick Cheney did call attention to the theory, since discredited, that one of the Sept. 11 hijackers might have met in Prague before the attacks with an Iraqi intelligence officer. LINK

And if that wasn’t enough…boneheadedness for you, here, have some Paris Hilton:

Hilton’s breathy, reggae-infused single, “Stars Are Blind,” has climbed to the top of Billboard’s dance music chart.

Of her album, she says, “I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it’s so good.” LINK

A BOY sent this link to me from Kotaku, safe haven for grown men who have purchased special video game chairs. It’s basically a send up of Mac’s current clever ad campaign featuring hipster hottie Justin Long opposite Daily Show alum John Hodgman, except here we are discussing the powerhouse, overpriced PS3 versus Nintendo’s sleek yet possibly content-vacant Wii.

This is pretty much proof that boys will always go for the flat ass in the unbelieveably tiny shorts over…wait…well, the other choice isn’t super appealing either. I’m obviously being too literal – the video is meant to illustrate the game platforms’ various weaknesses and strengths. But in my book it just goes to show you that boys think the world is divided into pointless women and women with too many points. Why isn’t the other choice, like Zooey DeChanel? Can someone help me out here? **Cartman voice** Gahd I hate you guys.

NORMALLY I wouldn’t post this kind of stuff up. But I can’t help it this time. At least I’ll spare you a photo of Mrs. Federline looking fat and confused. There are oceans of blogs just dedicated to that.

BUT ANYWAY, here, watch Britney and K-Fed having a discussion involving the following topics:

Typing lists using MLA headline rules is fun. I had a good time just typing that list.

Anyway, the person who posted this at YouTube makes the good point that she seems stoned. Which is immediately what I thought. Munchin’ away on take out food, bottle of water nearby, talking about partyin’ and bein’ on a bus and watchin’ a movie? Girl’s higher than NASA.

Mel Gibson does an Anti-Semitic lookin’ ‘Upward Dog’ in a forgotten scene from What Women Want.

Today Mel Gibson is saying he’s not an anti-Semite. I’m not even sure this warrants a joke. People do this stuff all the time, right? Stupid as hell people? Remember last night, when I told you your fiancee looks like a mule in a bonnet? I was just drunk, yo! And all those really racist Jew jokes? They were just jokes, man! 30 pieces of silver, get out of here!! I didn’t mean it! Let’s get back to making movies.

It’s pretty much over for him, eh! He could have added in a homophobic comment and something about the size of Oprah’s posterior and that would have sealed the deal with everyone on the planet. Well, we will always have our old VHS tape of the original Lethal Weapon movie, taped off of TV, commercials and all.

It’s Friday, getouttahere! Pop Quiz.

Questions for Review
1. Is President Bush a **)(#*%*#$(#?

2. Is Paris Hilton a human condom?

3. Do you think this is a real newspaper headline? “After a Wild Time in Laguna Beach, Drunken Pelican Rejoins the Wildlife”

4. What’s the number one reason people don’t want Hillary to run?

5. Identify the people in this photo and who they are dressed up as.

6. Can you play Super Mario Brothers 3 in the can at work? Wait, let me rephrase that: Why wouldn’t you play Super Mario Brothers 3 on the can at work?

7. Which beer do you want, a Hef or something Belgian style? This is a trick question.

8. Should we forgive Kevin Smith?

9. Is this man your favorite actor?

10. Finish this joke: An Algerian and an Italian walk into a World Cup final match…

11. What else can you do with cat hair?

12. Is God & the Universe the exact same thing?

13. Who was the best Iron Chef?

14. How can I win the hand of yonder fair maiden?

Alright, we here at Citzenrobot have come down from our World Cup Fever. Our body temperature is back to a normal 98 degrees, we have showered, sobered up, and put away our small Italian flags.

But what about that Zidane? Everyone is reporting that Materazzi called him ‘the son of a dirty terrorist whore’ or something to that affect!

That’s a tough piece of shit-talking shit to have to swallow…but I feel like a headbutt means a lot more when it’s done out on the street outside a bar in front of 10,000 drunken angry French fans. Am I being horribly biased? Should he have kicked the guy in the nuts?