Yeah, that Jack Johnson bit made me cough up soda through me nostrils a bit as well. Looks like Friday night is gonna be the hippie dippie stinky surfer kids night. Saturday is the grand dark rebirth of Portishead, so moping will be afoot. And on Sunday night, even the security guards should stop what they’re doing smoke a doob and sing along to “Time”. KICKING AWAY, THE MOMENTS THAT MAAAKE UP THE DULL DAY. FRITTER AND…trails off. Wanders away to look for shaved ice guy.

Now a lot of you pale emaciated (Xiu Xiu fan) types are going to say that the folks at Goldenvoice are really demonstrating how out of it they are with that Jack Johnson headliner. It is a little shocking to see him especially playing on the main stage – BUT, remember, back in 2005 they did have Coldplay playing on the first night opposite Nine Inch Nails on the second night…so, they are uh, historically schizophrenic and lame at times, okay? And there was that one year James Blunt was playing? Yick? (I’m sure there have been other Coachella lows – refresh my memory in the comments section if you can.)

Tickets go on sale on Friday 1/25, at 10 am PST. The individual and 2 day passes always seem to sell out first, so don’t hesitate. Even though yes – yes, you will be spending even more money to see Radiohead separately, probably at the Hollywood Bowl. Because Thom Yorke is never driving out to the desert again! Hmphthghm! (No seriously, it is a wonderful statement for the band to make, etcetera backpedaling on my own sarcasm)